Bandaids and Internal Wounds
by Wencer
Summary: Sasuke returns to Konoha after killing Itachi. While Konoha welcomes him back as a hero, Sasuke will find that the one person who begged him to stay is the one person who does not greet him with open arms. A Sasuke and Sakura fanfiction.
1. With strings attached

(From where Sakura stands )

_I love you._

_So please._

_Turn around. Turn around. Please turn around._

…

_Look at me. Just—_

…

_Please._

_Sasuke._

The words came from a broken record. I had tried everything. I had come at it with a sledgehammer. But I could not break the broken record. So it played. And it played.

_Please._

_Sasuke. _

"Sakura! Come on, let's go see him!" Naruto's grin was one I had not seen in a while.

"You can go on ahead." I hear myself say. "I'll catch up."

Surprisingly enough, Naruto did not argue.

_No. Not surprising at all_.

Naruto was ecstatic because his best friend had come back. And as a hero no less. _He_ selflessly killed Itachi for his village. _He_ fought to ensure the safety of Konoha. _He _tried on countless tights at night. _He_ flew around gallantly with a piece of a cloth pinned to his shoulders. Sasuke Uchiha is a hero.

"Wait!"

Naruto turns around.

"Let's make it a Team 7 reunion," I say.

And he smiles predictably.

"But," I laugh stiffly, "if you want, I'll let you two have your own little special moment."

Naruto grabs my hand and pulls me. "What's wrong? You don't think that jerk has changed that much, do you? I bet I could still beat him!"

Reluctantly at first but surely, I give myself into his strength. I am not if it is because I do not have the will to hold my ground or if it is fear that, if I do refuse, the blanket on all of this will be pulled.

I'd rather let myself be pulled.

* * *

( From where Sasuke stands )

_They're all bombarding me. I'm not safe. _

"Uff!" _What the fuck?_

I find myself struggling in Chouji's bear hug.

"Sasuke, you're back!" Ino squealed like a pig.

"Oi, Sasuke, I heard you kicked Itachi's ass!" Kiba grinned and his statement was upheld by Akamaru's barking.

"Hn."

_They'll shut up._

I take a step back and lean against the railing of the bridge. I look toward the floor and stare blankly. When it came to them, being there was enough.

"Ohhhhh, I missed you so much!"

_Drown them out._

_ …_

_ They'll leave._

_ -- _

…

_They'll leave._

…

And sure enough, when I look up, they are gone. But I know by now that this brief silence was only a tantalizing glimpse of the impossible. Impossible unless I left.

_I couldn't have stayed away. I didn't have anywhere to go. I have already killed the one who loved me---_

"SASUKE!"

My eyes snap open to realization of the familiar voice.

_Oh shit. He hasn't changed at all. _

"-YOU ASS! YOU WENT AND GOT ALL STRONG-"

Naruto.

"Uff!" Again with the hugs.

I awkwardly pull back from his embrace.

"Yeahh. Long time no see, idiot."

But now I am looking at his face. I notice something. Naruto had grown taller and his whole strange jumpsuit became even more elaborate.

Not sure why, but it was something I hadn't expected.

"Dammit, Sasuke. You don't leave notes or goodbyes, do you?"

"If I said I was going, you'd probably chain me to a tree."

"Pfff, I would've paid for your escort."

"Right."

"Didja miss me?"

"No."

"-THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?"

"Forget what I said. I missed you."

"Awwww, you really might seem really cold but inside-"

And then I noticed her. The flash of pink and red surprises me and my breath is caught in my throat for a moment. _Che, she looks prettier than I remembered._

"SAKURAAA! COME OVER HERE!" Naruto runs down the paved path and drags her to me like a flimsy potato sack.

"Hi." She smiles, looking nervous as fuck.

"Hey." I acknowledge her. "We should all go to eat somewhere. Naruto's treat."

"HEY YOU CHEAP ASS-" Naruto rants but pulls out his frog wallet, "I'm not your sugar daddy, you know."

"We'll go to where you want then." I mutter. "Ichiraku's, right?"

"But of course."

"You haven't changed at all."

Naruto's chest sticks out a good two feet in front the rest of his body. "I'll have you know I have matured into a stronger, more sophisticated person."

"It shows." I smirk.

The Ichiraku ramen bar still looked the same. The small, quaint place still held onto its modest exterior. I had noticed the sign had begun to collect dirt and mud from rainier days but the mildew-like smell was muffled by the food. We were greeted with the smell of warm noodles and eggs.

Naruto, ducking his head to avoid hitting the red sheets, poked his head into the ramen bar. "Teuchi!"

"Naruto!" The old chef grinned. "You usually come earlier than this."

"Yeah well, teme over here held me up."

I duck my head and enter in on cue. Upon entering, Naruto jabs his thumb into my shoulder.

The old man turned toward my direction and his expression suddenly became one of shock. And then it became of an expression of disgust; one he made no effort to disguise. He cleared his throat and pursed his lips.

"The usual as always?" The aged chef quickly turned from me to Naruto.

"6 bowls please." Naruto beams, panting like a dog. I wait for his tongue to come out and for him to jump onto the table. I smiled inwardly and shifted my weight to the other foot.

"I call 5 bowls." Naruto announces.

"That only leaves us one."

"Oh." Naruto smiles sheepishly. "Well then I'll eat four."

"Good math."

"WHY YOU-"

"Shut up."

"Sakkuuuraaaa, he's being meannn."

I look from the side of my eyes and saw that Sakura was smiling her new smile.

"Here you go." The old man laid out the bowls of ramen. As soon as the bowl had touched the table, Naruto began to dig in the noodles with his face.

I looked in front of me. It appeared the old man had forgotten to give me a bowl.

( From where Sakura stands )

_My face hurts. _

I still remember when my mouth would move with ease. But every hurt is now connected a string. And every string is connected to my face. If I didn't laugh, smile, frown in correspondence to how _he_ needed it to be, I knew every string would be pulled and the scabs attached would peel to expose the wounds. Everyone welcomes Sasuke as a hero now. _He_ welcomes Sasuke as a hero now. So I shut up and let my face respond accordingly.

And then I remember Naruto coming to Ichiraku's that night.

"_SASUKE!" The blond laughed riotously, turning left. "Do you want some more to drink?"_

…

"_Little boy can't hold his alcohol?" Naruto downed his drink while the drops of intoxication colored him blue. _

_ …_

_ Naruto was laughing at that point. He was laughing and choking on the sake, all while holding his stomach with his trembling hands. He was _dying.

_ "Stop. Stop looking at me funny, Sasuke! I'll knock you out." _

_The seat to the left of him was empty. _

_He_ needs me to be happy. So I carve my face, which has surely hardened to cement by now, into something beautiful.

I carve my face a smile.


	2. To our happiness

( From where Sakura stands )

When the lights are off, the shadows of everything in my room take the form of a monster. It's those piles of clothing and antique lamps that seem to have a mind of their own. They twist and turn until they have mutilated themselves beyond recognition. They were conmen; they schemed and sold delusional ideas to the mind in the shady time of day. I used to turn on and off the lights throughout the night so that I would feel secure knowing it was only my eyes lying to me. But even now, there is shadow in front of me that looks a lot like the Loch Ness monster. I can make out a tail and a face.

_ This is silly._

But against my better judgment, I push off the covers and get up from my bed. My hand reaches toward the light switch before it falters and drops to my side, embarrassed of its original intentions.

_Why turn on the lights?_

I stop myself. A cold wind blew through the window and I felt goose bumps emerging from my arms. When I turn toward the Loch Ness monster again, my back straightens like a piece of string pulled tightly at the ends and I bite my lip. I walk away from the light switch and return to the comfort of my inviting blankets.

( From where Sasuke stands )

"_Itachi was a hero."_

_ "Itachi was a hero."_

_ "Itachi was a hero."_

_ Said the orange masked man. _

"No!" My eyes fly open for the fifth time tonight. My shirt clings to the sweat on my back and my heart pounds dangerously hard against my chest like a livid prisoner in his cell. _Dammit._

_No. _

_ …_

_ No._

But the man doesn't listen. He keeps on talking.

_SHUT UP!_

_"Itachi is a hero. Weren't you ever suspicious?"_

_ "What are you talking about?" I do not look at him._

_ "Everyone knew. From the moment you were born, everyone knew." The man's smile was full of insincere pity. "His marks. His dexterity. He set the bars high and even now you're a three feet toddler jumping on his tippy toes, desperate to live up to those standards."_

_ "In case you have forgotten, even as a three feet toddler, I am taller than my brother. After all, I put him six feet under." _

_ "That, or he voluntarily laid down on the ground. Something you will never understand is the magnitude of his power."_

_ "For someone as thirsty as him, it only served as saltwater. It was the very thing that consumed him. That killed him."_

_ "Thirsty?" He looks at me curiously._

_ "Power. It was all power. He needed it like a balloon needs helium. But too much helium…," I mumble, "….and boom."_

_ The man laughs. It's a horrifying laugh. "Your brother wasn't helium-happy. It was never self destruction. But you already know that."_

_ "…"_

_ "Don't you?"_

The springs of my mattress moan as I get up from my bed. Frantically, my hands reached toward a pair of pants on the floor and I started patting the pockets till my hands came across something.

_A kunai._

I run my finger across the edge, feeling the crisp texture of the now dried blood. His blood. I allow myself to relive the memory and it becomes real again.

But these days, it's getting harder to know for sure.

(From where Sakura stands)

The sunlight found its way through the window of the room and started to seep its way through my eyelids.

_Woo woo wrrul woo. _

"Shut up." I slur lazily before turning to the other side, holding the ends of my pillows around my ears.

_Woo wrrul woo woo wrrul woo._

_Woo wrrul woo woo._

…

_Woo woo wrul woo._

…_._

…_._

"Honey, get up! You're late. It's already 9 in the morning!"

…

_Wrul. _

My eyes flutter awake to the sound of my mother's voice. Rolling over, I check to see my alarm clock on the side of my bed.

9:30.

"Oh, crap."

Stumbling out of bed, I grab some clothes laid out for me and dress speedily. I run into the bathroom and grab my toothbrush.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap ohh—"

I race downstairs at a break-neck pace to find my mother rubbing sandpaper on the place in the wall where I had once punched a hole. The whites of the walls were different and patchy like a large quilt.

"Where is the gift?"

"Good morning to you too."

"Yeah, good morning. Sorry. I'm just-"

"It's by the counter."

Grabbing what food I could find and my present, I head for the door.

"-crappity crap crap crap—"

The taste of the egg roll clashes with the toothpaste that didn't completely rinse out of my mouth. I make a face.

"Is my alarm clock broken or something?"

"I don't know. Just go. I bet they're all waiting for you."

The dewy grass stood motionless and straight, waiting for an occasional wind to pass by and disrupt the stillness. When a breeze did pick up, slowly but surely, all of the flowers and tree branches would find an excuse to dance. Although the three wooden posts seemed to remain unchanged, even they have aged. Moss formed in the cracks of their now chipped exteriors and no one could have guessed what their original purpose was for judging by their faded appearances.

"Sasuke?" Naruto called out into the silence. The sound of birds chirping in the sky seemed be his only reply.

Sakura's figure appeared from the trees. "Sorry I'm late."

"Don't be. That's my line." Kakashi murmured. "At least you bothered to show up."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, looking around. "He didn't come?"

"Apparently." Kakashi yawned, covering his masked mouth with his hand. "And I got up a whole two minutes earlier for him."

Sakura cracked a smile, motioning toward the present in yellow wrapping paper held in Kakashi's left hand. "He'll be sorry he didn't get the newest edition from your dirty book series."

"Oh? It warms my heart to know you know me so well." Kakashi held his empty hand against his heart for emphasis.

"So Sasuke really didn't show?"

"Look around."

"Huh."

"It's possible he got caught up in something."

"A terminal illness?"

"Poor thing."

Sakura laughed. "Well, I guess we should just go home then. We can try this another time."

Naruto, who had remained silent the whole time, cleared his throat.

"We can wait longer. It's only been a half hour."

Sakura held back a bitter retort. _We've been waiting for him far longer than that._

Kakashi pushed himself off of the post and stood up. "Sakura's right. There's always next time."

Sakura and Kakashi dispersed, leaving a very still Naruto behind with the very still posts.

The pathway from the training grounds to Sakura's home was meandering and unnecessary long. It moved around small brooks and hills and was designed for the normal citizens of Konoha. They were small obstacles Sakura grew familiar with and could have effortlessly crossed. Although the quicker way was more convenient, today Sakura chose to take her time and admire the scenery of the elongated trail.

"Sakura."

Sakura came to a stop and turned around.

"…Sasuke?"

"…" He bore his eyes challengingly into hers.

"Where were you?" She asks, avoiding his stare.

"Home."

"Did something happen to you?" Her concerned tone disturbs his calm exterior for a moment. But he regained his composure quickly.

"Nothing."

"What…?" She took in his last words. "Why didn't you come?"

"…"

"To the celebration. Your celebration. Why didn't you come?" She repeated more firmly this time.

"What is there to celebrate?" Sasuke muttered.

"You came back Sasuke," she said, almost astonished. "We all missed you."

His eyes widened slightly but he quickly turned to face his feet.

Silence.

And then,

"I'm sorry."

Sakura faltered and took a step back.

"I though maybe…" His voice trailed off. "I just doubted—"

She didn't reply.

"Well, we're here. We can still celebrate." He said, his eyes flickering. "That is, of course, if you're still happy I came back."

Sakura's stomach emitted a low growl and Sakura smiled sheepishly. She then went on to stare at her stomach as though, if she concentrated hard enough, she could will herself to die right there.

Sasuke smirked. "I guess that decides what we'll do. We can grab something from the food carts."


End file.
